Jealousy
by Tashwampa
Summary: The world through the eyes of Petunia Dursely nee Evans.


**AN: I've decided to challenge myself, by writing in the form of someone I kind of dislike and putting myself in their point of view. I did this and I cried. Guess whose POV it was? From the point of view, of Petunia. It seemed so sad when you read about it on Pottermore, the way she feels second best. So I let myself be taken over by her. It was a good experience. So I hope you guys enjoy it, and whenever you read the books you won't feel so harshly of her.**

They called her evil, for not liking the magic her nephew performed. Had they known what it was like, being overshadowed by Lily all her life? Even before the magic everyone loved Lily. Pretty Lily. Charming Lily. Smart Lily. So wonderful was Lily that eventually that was her identity. `Lily's sister'. Not Petunia, because learning her name was irrelevant. Why would they when they could be making friends with Lily? So she sat by, still happy though but slowly, she was forgotten. She'd nearly come to grips with it, and accepted and loved her sister with no jealousy. But then _he_ came along. That awful Snape boy, who was just as taken to Lily as anyone else. He'd gone on about how wonderful Lily was. Could Lily do a back handspring? Had she joined the League of Young Women? No. That was Petunia. But who cared, right? She was no Lily Evans. So for years she dealt with more of the foolishness and strange things that happened between them. When Lily finally told her about the school, Petunia wanted desperately to go. To finally be special and unique? And to stay with Lily for all of her school years? That was simply a dream. So she mailed that Dumbledore and asked to go to school. The answer was no. She didn't have the abilities they were looking for it said. But all she heard was that she was no Lily Evans. So she grew up in a regular school, with regular abilities, just like everyone else. All the while knowing, that once again, Lily was more special in every way. She thought maybe once summer came it would get easier. But alas, it was more of her parents worshipping the feet of Lily. So she researched witches. For hours, days, months, _years_ and finally came to the conclusion that they were freaks. No matter how many teacups were made into animals or how many objects danced across the room. They simply defied the laws of physics, and nature. Only mother nature had this ability but here was Lily doing it with no remorse, but she was praised? It was blasphemy, right? No way that was a _good_ thing. But it was just excuses. However, she finally found a boy who seemed to really like her (best of all she liked him back!). When he saw the pictures of Lily he made no actual comment about Lily's looks. When asked he said she was:

"Alright I suppose, but her hair is an eyesore." Petunia should have been mad, because of the slight on her sister, but she was so happy that someone wasn't fawning over her.

"It is, a bit, though isn't it?" Petunia grinned. She spent all her time with Vernon that was possible and she fell in love rather quickly. She unfortunately gave up her talent of painting and drawing as the colors and creativity involved were annoying to Vernon.

__

Of course they soon had their own child who resembled Vernon most. Petunia thought him gorgeous and beautiful wanting him to know this. She herself was never told this after the birth of Lily.

"You are so beautiful. You are so smart. You are so special. I love you." She would murmur every night to him in his crib.

Suddenly Petunia was thrown a horrible surprise by the universe. Her sister and her brother-in-law were dead. They were killed by some wizard and now Petunia was left knowing she never patched things up with her sister. Whose nightmare was this? What horrible being decided that she would have this fate? But she had her nephew. She was discouraged by his looks. He was going to be handsome, and most likely her little Dudley was going to be just like her. Bitter and angry because someone overshadowed him his whole life. She wouldn't let him. She immediately bought a small dispensable crib for Harry and placed it in the guest bedroom. But just for now. Eventually Vernon convinced her that they needed to squash his magic. She didn't want to not really. It'd been so long since she saw magic, but she didn't want Dudley to know that he wasn't the most special boy. So she forbade the magic, but never told him what it was. Year after year guilt tore at her. Mistreating her sister's son. How could she? But she couldn't bring herself to admit her mistake now. But every day, during her shower she cried in the bath wanting so badly to be the aunt she should be. She hated herself so fiercely she nearly forgot to take care of both boys.

__

Years later, when they went their separate ways she mailed the school her hands shaking and tears falling down her face. He had to be safe? Surely someone might tell her if he died? But no doubt they knew the way she treated him. They would never tell her of their own accord.

_Dear Headmaster or Headmistress of Hogwarts,_

_I am Petunia Dursley. I have been wanting to know how I can contact my nephew, Harry Potter. I am aware that I am something of a pariah in your world, and that you may not want to contact me in reply, but I must speak with him immediately. It is of the utmost importance and I would greatly appreciate it._

_Sincerely,_

_Petunia Dursley_

For five long days she awaited correspondence. She contemplated sending another letter when miracle of miracles, there was Harry Potter, standing on her doorstep. She ushered him in and offered him tea. He declined and they both sat, alone in the house, awkwardly waiting for the other to speak.

"Harry, I'm-I'm sorry. I know that nothing I say will change the irreparable damage to you, but I want to say it so that you'll know. I loved my sister-your mother-very much. But I was jealous, of her all those years growing up before the magic. After that it was just horrible. I can't tell you in words how I feel. So I guess I'll show you." Petunia said. Standing up from his seat, Harry said nothing and simply waited with an almost blank expression. But the eyes. The eyes of Lily Potter stared into Petunia's. Harry was shocked. He was wary but she pushed on, needing to finish this. It was a painting she'd worked on for weeks now. She pulled it from her bedroom closet. It was glorious. It depicted Lily, James, and Harry bathed in a halo of light, but in the background It was obviously Petunia looking forlorn but still happy.

"I know it's not very good. I haven't painted since before Dudley was born, but I-"

"You paint?" Harry asked his eyebrows raised.

"Yes. I was fairly good, but I stopped after Vernon and I were engaged. I, uh, couldn't remember what your father looked like, so I shadowed his eyes a bit."

"That's clever. It looks really good, Aunt Petunia." he murmured. When they looked at each other, it was strange. For Petunia it was the first time since he became a wizard where he didn't look at her with absolute loathing. She sat next to him, and they both gazed upon the painting. Petunia couldn't take it anymore. She hugged, Harry tightly and didn't let go. Not even after his initial resistance. But he seemed to realize that he needed to reconcile with his aunt.

"I'm so sorry. I was horrid to you all those years! I promised Lily when were little that I would protect her, and I didn't. Then I treat you like I did! I'm so sorry!" she cried fat tears falling from her thin cheeks.

"I forgive you." Harry whispered, shaking with tears of his own and getting a handkerchief for his aunt magically He stiffened when he realized what he'd done but she only smiled and shook her head.

"It's okay, you won't get any grief from me. Lily used to do that, when our uncle died I was crying so hard but she gave me a handkerchief just like you did." He blushed at the comparison and Petunia hugged him again.

"Is he dead, Harry?" Petunia asked suddenly. Harry looked startled and his eyes shadowed with sadness.

"Yes, but so many other people are."

"Did you kill him?

"Yes."

"Good. I hated him. When I heard it was heartbreaking. Thank you so much for doing this. And I know you didn't do it for me." She said leaning forward and sipping her tea. It was silence and Vernon certainly got a fright when he saw Harry sipping tea with his aunt, but Dudley simply gave him a handshake and half a hug. Petunia smiled at Harry as he left, and blew him a kiss.

_0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o_

So began the bond of Petunia and Harry. She and Dudley were cordially invited to his wedding to Ginny, while Vernon received a notice. Petunia and Dudley came wishing Harry well. She called him after the birth of his first child, and even gave tips when Mrs. Weasley wasn't available. She held little James Sirius and smiled at the couple. At first the Weasleys and Hermione were very hesitant to let her and Dudley near Harry, but when they eventually got used to her it was normal for her to accompany the family on picnics.

"He looks very much like the both of you. I'm surprised he got hazel eyes. It's a recessive trait—"

"Aunt Petunia your rambling."

"Oh, sorry. He's just so cute. But he looks very mischievous. Watch him."

"Molly said much the same."

"Good. So if you need a back- up babysitter for him or Teddy just give me a call, okay?"

"Will Vernon be a problem?" Ginny asked.

"No. He will most definitely not be a problem." Petunia said fiercely.

__

When Albus Severus was born she was hesitant on the name but when Harry explained she accepted it. He looked just like Harry down to the flecks in the eyes. She nearly burst into tears when he learned to say part of her name.

"Tuney! I love you!" she kissed his cheek and murmured to him.

"I love you too."

__

Meeting Lily Luna was surprisingly not as dramatic. Lily had blue eyes, that she got from the Weasleys. She had light auburn hair, and looked very much like Ginny.

"She's been pretty quiet, more than her brothers." Harry said smiling at his little girl.

"Petunia poked her belly knowing, this should get a rise out of her. She turned her eyes to Petunia and opened and her mouth and made the cutest laugh.

"Well! Just tickle her. Anyway, she likes to grab hair, so watch out." Ginny said. Too late, when Lily grabbed Petunia's blonde locks and tugged.

"Oh! Goodness, she's strong." Petunia laughed. This was heaven, Petunia thought.

__

On her death bed Petunia Dursley spoke to her son, and grandchildren, but also with her nephew. As she drew some of her last breaths she saw both Lily and Harry ushering her into the next world, and sending her off.

**AN: So there's my take on Petunia and her feelings. I figured I should get in her shoes and look through her eyes, and that's what I saw, so I guess you can make of it what you want. So I guess this should be pretty eh for you guys, so enjoy it.**


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